Fear of Flying

They had gathered by the window to get some air. The smoke was suffocating, blinding.... The heat was scorching, unbearable.... Break another window, damn it! He never thought it would end like this. Of all the senseless, stupid, inconceivable ways to die! Trapped like a friggin'.... Oh, no, Jerry,wait! Jerry had just taken his pretty young secretary's hand and the two of them stepped out through the shattered, gaping window and into the morning light together....

At first they all thought it was an accident, an airliner somehow going horribly off course and crashing into the North Tower. But then the second plane hit several floors below on the South Tower, his tower! Accident, my ass! They did that on purpose! Who!? Why, damn it, why...?! Rotten, murdering bastards! Oh, Jesus.... That was Helen from upstairs in Accounting! Oh, Helen, I'm so sorry....

His friends, his co-workers, screaming, crying, choking, being brave.... Be brave, he told himself, be brave.... But what the hell for, who's gonna know if I'm not...!? The stairways are blocked or blasted away or filled with fire and smoke! No way that helicopter can get a rescue line to us! He remembered the tragic images of desperate people jumping from blazing high-rises in Rio de Janeiro years ago.... Better to fly than to fry! CNN must be havin' a ball broadcasting all this live, the ratings-hungry sons o' bitches!

They were no longer at the window now...his friends and co-workers, no one was. All gone! The heat, the smoke, the fear had become too much. It had all become too much for them. Some had embraced, had kissed and said goodbye before closing their eyes and stepping through the shards of broken glass and out over the window ledge...

You're still young and beautiful, Mary, you'll find someone else to love and to love you. But please be careful. Don't mourn forever...but don't forget me too quickly either! I love you...I love you...I.... Be brave, damn it! But you'll know, won't you...? Such a long way down.... Is there no one left to hold my hand...?

I always wanted to fly.... Flying is easy; landing is hard! Smile and wave to the camera! Here I go, faster than a speeding bullet.... Is there no one...?

What a fucking beautiful day this started out to be....

Copyright 2002 Will Franz